he thought i was a dude.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
