I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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