I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
