party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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