Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
