i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize