ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
