dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize