It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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