I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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