Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
