I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
