so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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