i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
