Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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