Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
