What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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