is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
