So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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