We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
