We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
