Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
