Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
