its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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