I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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