we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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