hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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