I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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