This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
no you cant smoke seaweed
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
