Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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