So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
