wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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