I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
