i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
