Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
