Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
