dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
