He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
