So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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