It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
