they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
