Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
