Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
