I wish I could teleport
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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