How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
