I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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