I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
