1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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