i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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