Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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