We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
