found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
