That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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