I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
