Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
