I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
