He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
