Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
