Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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