we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
